Relationships can come with a host of challenges, especially when they reach across cultural lines. As society continues to change, we find ourselves interacting and becoming more integrated with others from various cultures. As people continue to migrate across the world, the melting pot continues to expand. It is only natural that the rate of romantic relationships among people from different backgrounds are on the rise. Remember that culture can affect various everyday facets of the relationship. Things like what’s for dinner, celebrating holidays to major decisions like how to your raise children. I seriously encourage those who are in or thinking about being in an intercultural relationship to have those conversations that may initially make you a little uncomfortable, it will pay off in the long run. Besides it will equip with the tools to combat those who may not fully accept or doubt that your relationship can stand the test of time. Once the novelty wears off with being intrigued by someone who is so different you do not want to be caught off guard, with being forced to face difficult conversations about issues that may actually be deal breakers.

You may have romanticized about how love can conquer all and when you are truly “in love” the only thing that matters is what you have in common. You feel as if your love or care for another can transcend color and any cultural divides. While that may be the driving force for your continued commitment, it would be very naïve to expect that to be enough to sustain your relationship. I remember thinking exactly like this when my intercultural relationship started.

My husband is Jamaican and I am American, two contrasting cultures to say the least. I found myself so very intriqued by the essence of him. So very different but there couldn’t be anything that wasn’t fabulous. Well that’s how most relationships start. One small example was the sound of his voice, his Jamacian accent was so very sexy and interesting. I thought I could listen to his voice forever, it’s nothing that I didn’t absolutely love about it. Fastfoward 8 years later and while I still love that voice, may ability to always understand it has created some barriers along that way. Besides it doesn’t sound that romantic in heated converstations about real life issues or even petty ones. I remember once we agreed to go on a diet in attempt to drop a few pounds in preparation for our wedding. Two weeks in, I was so hungry, craving sugar and carbs. He was trying to tell me about his day on a dreaded trip to the gym, when I actually said, please stop talking the accent is just to much right now. We laughed so hard about it after the fact but at the time it didn’t seem that funny, it may have even come across kind of rude. I said that to say, that even the things that seem so wonderful in the beginning take some getting use too from both sides.

Intercultural differences are a real topic of conversation and worth exploring if want your relationship to be successful or improve your family dynamics. The word culture can encompass a vast amount of differences in society. Race, ethnicity, religion, genetic makeup, age, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, region of origin or any other factor that makes you different can create obstacles to overcome in relationships and make it difficult to navigate family dynamics. Whether you are in an intercultural relationship, know someone who is or thinking about sharing your life with someone vastly different, please know that it is okay to feel somewhat overwhelmed or confused by all the differences. However, with time and effort you quickly learn that what makes you different does not need to divide you but can bring you closer.

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